5 rules of sex in the kitchen
Many agree even to have sex, but just not to wash the dishes!
There is nothing worse than pre-planned sex in the kitchen! Never agree with your girlfriend in advance: “Let's have sex in the kitchen today. It is so unusual and exciting!” - because at the moment when you utter this phrase, sex in the kitchen will cease to be unusual and exciting.
Check the security situation
It somehow happened that it was in the kitchen knives, forks, corkscrews, and other piercing and cutting household items that are so fond of appearing in crime reports are stored. So, even taking into account the first point - spontaneity - you need to be vigilant as well. Make sure that there is nothing that could harm you within a couple of meters of you and the girl.
Use food and cooking utensils
It's time to squeeze whipped cream on the girl or spank her with a kitchen towel. A plastic spatula, by the way, is also good not only for frying steaks but also for impromptu punishment.
Stick to countertops
Nature has decreed that a kitchen countertop matches the human anatomy much better than a table. That is, having planted the girl on the countertop, you can easily merge with her both in the “face to face” position and in the “man behind” pose, while the table makes us either bend our knees or stand on tiptoe. And you can kneel down and make the girl sitting on the countertop a proposal - to have oral sex with her.
Like it or not, the kitchen is not suitable for sex. You begin to understand this in the 10th minute. At the 15th minute, you begin to feel inappropriate pain in the knees, beating on the countertop. On the 20th, rubbing your stiff legs, cowardly suggests the girl move to the bedroom. When starting sex in the kitchen, expect in advance that, ideally, everything needs to be turned quickly and cleanly. So that not a single plate is hurt.
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